So, I have decided that 2012 is going to be a great year. Considering how dull the past few have been, it shouldn't be hard to accomplish.
My two goals for 2012: To become a skinny bitch and find me a man. Let's see what happens!!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Where is that Door?
Well, I have been unemployed for a while now. It's really beginning to get to me. I feel like I'm living a secret life staying at home during the day, so no one finds out that I'm not working. I keep checking the help wanted ads, but there's nothing there.
My friends keep telling me not to worry. When one door closes another one opens. Well, I believed that at first too, but at this point I'm really beginning to wonder where the heck that door is. I've been searching everywhere, and I can't find that door. I've searched online, in the paper, and with people I know. No doors anywhere.
I'm trying to remain strong, but as my savings continues to dwindle away and bills pile up it's getting harder. What am I going to do?!
My friends keep telling me not to worry. When one door closes another one opens. Well, I believed that at first too, but at this point I'm really beginning to wonder where the heck that door is. I've been searching everywhere, and I can't find that door. I've searched online, in the paper, and with people I know. No doors anywhere.
I'm trying to remain strong, but as my savings continues to dwindle away and bills pile up it's getting harder. What am I going to do?!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
A Fork in the Road
There are many times in life when we are faced with a fork in the road. I'm 35-years-old and have come to many of these.
Some are small: Should we go to Burger King or McDonald? Should I get that shirt in red or blue?
Some are big: Should I rent or buy a house? Should I stay married or get divorced?
I've never been good with making decisions. Whether they are big or small, I tend to let someone else make the decision for me. Usually it works.
Unfortunately, that isn't the case now. Now I'm not facing a normal fork in the road. It isn't pick this or that. I feel like I've been dropped in a desert with no road or even path to choose from. It's wide open, and I have no idea which way to go.
I've been unemployed for a while now. I'm used to having my days mapped out, but everything is up in the air. I don't even know if I want to work in the same profession anymore. There are so many options to choose from, and no one is here to tell me which one to take. All I know is I have to figure something out soon.
I have been searching the help wanted ads, but nothing sounds like the ideal job. I've contemplated starting my own business, but that isn't something I can afford to do right now. I feel like a kid who doesn't know the answer to "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I honestly don't know. I like working with numbers, but I can't find a job opening that is worth applying for. I've thought about starting my own business, but I can't afford to sit around and wait for it to take off. I love to write, but can I really make a living doing that?
I've dreamed about being able to leave my job and do whatever I want, but now that I've lost my job I don't know what to do. I just keep waiting for a path to appear...hopefully soon.
Some are small: Should we go to Burger King or McDonald? Should I get that shirt in red or blue?
Some are big: Should I rent or buy a house? Should I stay married or get divorced?
I've never been good with making decisions. Whether they are big or small, I tend to let someone else make the decision for me. Usually it works.
Unfortunately, that isn't the case now. Now I'm not facing a normal fork in the road. It isn't pick this or that. I feel like I've been dropped in a desert with no road or even path to choose from. It's wide open, and I have no idea which way to go.
I've been unemployed for a while now. I'm used to having my days mapped out, but everything is up in the air. I don't even know if I want to work in the same profession anymore. There are so many options to choose from, and no one is here to tell me which one to take. All I know is I have to figure something out soon.
I have been searching the help wanted ads, but nothing sounds like the ideal job. I've contemplated starting my own business, but that isn't something I can afford to do right now. I feel like a kid who doesn't know the answer to "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I honestly don't know. I like working with numbers, but I can't find a job opening that is worth applying for. I've thought about starting my own business, but I can't afford to sit around and wait for it to take off. I love to write, but can I really make a living doing that?
I've dreamed about being able to leave my job and do whatever I want, but now that I've lost my job I don't know what to do. I just keep waiting for a path to appear...hopefully soon.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
My Unexpected Extended Vacation
As a single mom being able to take a big vacation is something I never planned on doing. First of all, I never figured I would be able to afford it. Second, I couldn't imagine taking off on some big vacation with just me and my daughter.
Fortunately, this year an opportunity to take a vacation to Florida with my daughter became available, and I jumped at it. I had money in savings to cover the cost. I had PTO saved up, so I could take the vacation without losing any pay. My aunt invited us to join her, her husband, and her grandson at their timeshare, so I immediately began planning.
I took off a week and a half from work to have time to get ready, go to Florida, and then re coop before returning to work. We went to Florida for a week and had an amazing time. We spent five days at Disney and a day at Sea World. It was wonderful! We both had a great time, and when we returned home I felt rejuvenated and ready to go back to work.
Saying I was ready to go back to work is a big deal, because my job had been causing me nothing but grief for almost a year. My supervisor and I were not getting along, and every morning I had to drag myself out of bed to go. I hated my job. I read somewhere that if you work somewhere that you're not happy "you die a little each day". This is truly how I felt.
Anyhow, after our wonderful vacation I felt rejuvenated and ready to go back to work and make the most of it. I hopped out of bed the morning of my return to work and was ready to head in early. I knew with my long vacation there would be a lot to do, and I was ready to jump in.
My supervisor met me at my cubicle immediately after I walked in and said the owner wanted to talk to me. I figured it was about something that needed to be done or maybe about our annual reviews which were coming up at the end of the month. It didn't matter what he wanted. I figured I'd run in and get back to work.
When I walked into his office, I immediately realized this wasn't a normal meeting he wanted to have. My supervisor closed the door after I entered and sat down in a chair off to the side. Neither seemed to want to make eye contact, and I sat down wondering what the heck was going on. It didn't take long to find out. My boss looked up and said "I really don't like doing this, but I'm afraid we're letting you go."
I sat there in disbelief. My head was spinning trying to figure out what was happening. Was this some sort of sick joke? Was he serious? Why wouldn't my supervisor look at me?
He continued on by saying "We know you haven't been happy here and you haven't been able to get the amount of work done that we need."
At this point, I realized he wasn't kidding. This was no joke. He was serious. The one day I came into work feeling happy and ready to go...I got canned.
Then with a shaky hand, he slid an envelope across the desk to me and said "We are giving you a check for your remaining PTO and a generous severance check." (There was a long pause) Then he asked, "Is there anything you would like to say?"
I was speechless.
He said he would be happy to provide me with a good reference for my next job, and said my supervisor would help me clean out my desk.
I looked up and took my envelope. He looked like he was going to cry and my supervisor wouldn't look at me. I stood up and walked to my cubicle and immediately began cleaning out my things. My supervisor brought me a box and asked if she could help. I said "No."
It seemed to take forever to clean everything out. It was amazing how much crap I had accumulated in the almost four years I was there. I think I was still in shock the entire time. I couldn't think about anything except boxing up my things. I was terrified someone would come over and ask what was going on, and I'd have a complete break down. I just wanted to get my shit in the stupid box and get out of there.
When I was finally all packed up. My supervisor asked for my keys and walked me out. It took every bit of strength not to scream at her for being a bitch or break down in hysterical sobs. She made it sound like it was another person's fault that I was leaving, but it was her. I knew it was her.
I threw my box in my back seat and plopped into the driver's seat. I tried to keep my composure until I got home, but the tears were flowing beyond my control. I wasn't sad to have lost a job I hated. I couldn't believe I was fired. I've never been fired before, and the idea of dealing with it was horrifying.
I just wanted a vacation with my daughter. Our week in Florida was perfect. Now I don't have a job, and I have no idea when my "vacation" will end.
Fortunately, this year an opportunity to take a vacation to Florida with my daughter became available, and I jumped at it. I had money in savings to cover the cost. I had PTO saved up, so I could take the vacation without losing any pay. My aunt invited us to join her, her husband, and her grandson at their timeshare, so I immediately began planning.
I took off a week and a half from work to have time to get ready, go to Florida, and then re coop before returning to work. We went to Florida for a week and had an amazing time. We spent five days at Disney and a day at Sea World. It was wonderful! We both had a great time, and when we returned home I felt rejuvenated and ready to go back to work.
Saying I was ready to go back to work is a big deal, because my job had been causing me nothing but grief for almost a year. My supervisor and I were not getting along, and every morning I had to drag myself out of bed to go. I hated my job. I read somewhere that if you work somewhere that you're not happy "you die a little each day". This is truly how I felt.
Anyhow, after our wonderful vacation I felt rejuvenated and ready to go back to work and make the most of it. I hopped out of bed the morning of my return to work and was ready to head in early. I knew with my long vacation there would be a lot to do, and I was ready to jump in.
My supervisor met me at my cubicle immediately after I walked in and said the owner wanted to talk to me. I figured it was about something that needed to be done or maybe about our annual reviews which were coming up at the end of the month. It didn't matter what he wanted. I figured I'd run in and get back to work.
When I walked into his office, I immediately realized this wasn't a normal meeting he wanted to have. My supervisor closed the door after I entered and sat down in a chair off to the side. Neither seemed to want to make eye contact, and I sat down wondering what the heck was going on. It didn't take long to find out. My boss looked up and said "I really don't like doing this, but I'm afraid we're letting you go."
I sat there in disbelief. My head was spinning trying to figure out what was happening. Was this some sort of sick joke? Was he serious? Why wouldn't my supervisor look at me?
He continued on by saying "We know you haven't been happy here and you haven't been able to get the amount of work done that we need."
At this point, I realized he wasn't kidding. This was no joke. He was serious. The one day I came into work feeling happy and ready to go...I got canned.
Then with a shaky hand, he slid an envelope across the desk to me and said "We are giving you a check for your remaining PTO and a generous severance check." (There was a long pause) Then he asked, "Is there anything you would like to say?"
I was speechless.
He said he would be happy to provide me with a good reference for my next job, and said my supervisor would help me clean out my desk.
I looked up and took my envelope. He looked like he was going to cry and my supervisor wouldn't look at me. I stood up and walked to my cubicle and immediately began cleaning out my things. My supervisor brought me a box and asked if she could help. I said "No."
It seemed to take forever to clean everything out. It was amazing how much crap I had accumulated in the almost four years I was there. I think I was still in shock the entire time. I couldn't think about anything except boxing up my things. I was terrified someone would come over and ask what was going on, and I'd have a complete break down. I just wanted to get my shit in the stupid box and get out of there.
When I was finally all packed up. My supervisor asked for my keys and walked me out. It took every bit of strength not to scream at her for being a bitch or break down in hysterical sobs. She made it sound like it was another person's fault that I was leaving, but it was her. I knew it was her.
I threw my box in my back seat and plopped into the driver's seat. I tried to keep my composure until I got home, but the tears were flowing beyond my control. I wasn't sad to have lost a job I hated. I couldn't believe I was fired. I've never been fired before, and the idea of dealing with it was horrifying.
I just wanted a vacation with my daughter. Our week in Florida was perfect. Now I don't have a job, and I have no idea when my "vacation" will end.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Three men and a pedophile van
So a friend and I decided to go out this weekend for a much needed night out. We made our usual stops uptown where there are several bars within walking distance. After a couple hours of bar hopping and drinking we were feeling pretty good. As we were walking to our next destination, we met up with three guys who were standing out in front of our next drinking hole.
Now normally we would say "Hi" and continue walking, but these guys somehow were able to draw us in. I'm not sure if it was because we were getting bored walking from one bar to the next and sitting by ourselves, or they were really that entertaining. Whatever the reason, we decided to stick around and find out more about these three guys who seemed to be as bored as we were.
They told us they were all pharmaceutical reps who were in town for the weekend. They were each from another state, but they'd been hanging out together for the weekend. After a few minutes we went inside a bar where they bought us a drink and continued to provide us with some much needed entertainment.
At first they were flirting with us both with the normal pick-up lines ("You have the most beautiful eyes", etc). They are the same lines all the players and want-to-be-players seem to use, but we let them go on and accepted their compliments. My friend informed them she was married, so then I became the target for their cheesy and over-the-top pick up lines. I've obviously been single for too long, because I ate all of it up.
For some reason two of the guys really wanted to go to another town. Why they wanted to head to another town at midnight was beyond me, especially since the town was over an hour away. Why spend the last two hours of bar time on the road? By the time they got there everything would be closing.
Whatever the reason, they continued talking about going and tried to convince me to go with them. Since my friend was married they knew she wouldn't go, but they somehow thought I would be up for a road trip. I let them try to sell me on the idea even though I knew there was absolutely no way I would ever leave town with three men I had just met. They said they knew a lot of people there and would be going to hang at their friend's homes. Great. Now not only would I be traveling with three strangers, but I would end up at some stranger's house. Definitely thinking about it now - not.
The best selling point they had was their mode of transportation. One of the guys felt the need to warn me about the van they were driving. I guess they'd talked to another girl about going, and when she saw their van she said she wasn't riding in a pedophile van. Now, I did not see the van. Part of me really wanted to, but I thought it was best to leave it to my imagination. I picture their van being big and white with a sign on the side saying they have icecream. Needless to say, even this new information couldn't convince me that going on a road trip with them was what I wanted to do. As cute and funny the one guy was there was no way I was going to leave town with three men in a pedophile van!
Now normally we would say "Hi" and continue walking, but these guys somehow were able to draw us in. I'm not sure if it was because we were getting bored walking from one bar to the next and sitting by ourselves, or they were really that entertaining. Whatever the reason, we decided to stick around and find out more about these three guys who seemed to be as bored as we were.
They told us they were all pharmaceutical reps who were in town for the weekend. They were each from another state, but they'd been hanging out together for the weekend. After a few minutes we went inside a bar where they bought us a drink and continued to provide us with some much needed entertainment.
At first they were flirting with us both with the normal pick-up lines ("You have the most beautiful eyes", etc). They are the same lines all the players and want-to-be-players seem to use, but we let them go on and accepted their compliments. My friend informed them she was married, so then I became the target for their cheesy and over-the-top pick up lines. I've obviously been single for too long, because I ate all of it up.
For some reason two of the guys really wanted to go to another town. Why they wanted to head to another town at midnight was beyond me, especially since the town was over an hour away. Why spend the last two hours of bar time on the road? By the time they got there everything would be closing.
Whatever the reason, they continued talking about going and tried to convince me to go with them. Since my friend was married they knew she wouldn't go, but they somehow thought I would be up for a road trip. I let them try to sell me on the idea even though I knew there was absolutely no way I would ever leave town with three men I had just met. They said they knew a lot of people there and would be going to hang at their friend's homes. Great. Now not only would I be traveling with three strangers, but I would end up at some stranger's house. Definitely thinking about it now - not.
The best selling point they had was their mode of transportation. One of the guys felt the need to warn me about the van they were driving. I guess they'd talked to another girl about going, and when she saw their van she said she wasn't riding in a pedophile van. Now, I did not see the van. Part of me really wanted to, but I thought it was best to leave it to my imagination. I picture their van being big and white with a sign on the side saying they have icecream. Needless to say, even this new information couldn't convince me that going on a road trip with them was what I wanted to do. As cute and funny the one guy was there was no way I was going to leave town with three men in a pedophile van!
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